Yes, the heading of this sticks out…I’m feeling defeated and lingering anger inside is still burning from earlier today. Let me tell you the background to this story…..The other day my 7 year old son Calaeb emptied out a whole laundry detergent container in the laundry room. The thick blue liquid was all over the floor. I was highly upset at that moment and I couldn’t help but yell at my son, Why? Why? I kept saying. Soon after, this tremendous amount of guilt came over me and I just felt like I wanted to commit the worse thing imaginable to myself. I need help and inside of me it was yelling out for help. Today. Same thing happened only that it was all over the guest bathroom. I was initially upset and wanted to yell again but I fought it. I fought the urge to show this ugly side of me. Inside I was a wreck and I had to step away for a minute. I took my son away from the situation and I used the skill “one-minded” towards cleaning up the floor. For those of you familiar with DBT, the one-minded skill is basically focusing only on the task at hand and being the best at it. As I write this blog, yes anger does kill, but it’s not me it kills…it can slowly kill the relationship you have with your kids if you let it.
